Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Randomize
