So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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