Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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