I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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