I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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