he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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