He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
