I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're too hungover to prance.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
