Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
