I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
