He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize