If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
