plz talk dirty to me
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
