Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize