he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
