She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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