in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
