Are we in a gay sports bar?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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