I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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