i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
