Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize