distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
