I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
