YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
