He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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