so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
