He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
