Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
