Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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