The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize