Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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