We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
