omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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