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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Whats up?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Stay up. I'm coming home in a little

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"

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• (315): View more from New York

  Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds

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