And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
