Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
