i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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