look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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