i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
