so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
