Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
