haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I think I am morally bankrupt
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
