just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
