butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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