he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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