i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
