my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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