that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
