You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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