used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
