I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
