New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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