What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
