I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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