I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
