Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize