apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
