walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
