i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
