I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
