Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have surprise drugs for everyone
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
