I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
