This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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