hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
