Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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