We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
